We all have seen changes or metamorphosis taking place in numerous items, even insects, animals and people. At conception we see things change from a zygot to a fetus to a newborn and the next step is being a teenager (or so it seems at times)
We have seen a caterpillar go from pupa to furry creature to a death as caterpillar to rebirth as a beautiful butterfly or not so beautiful moth. Eggs change to tadpoles into frogs or toads. Change is everywhere...even our seasons change.
I have always looked at seasons as times of our life. Summer hot, sunny and joyous...not school. My brothers and sister and I loved being out of school and traveling around with my parents - my dad in his semi truck and us tagging along behind him in the car, just to be with him. Fall was "aging" for me....school began again, blah- and all the trees in Pennsylvania turned various colors bright and hue-filled. Finally, winter. At first it was great fun,...snow; snow angels, sledding; skating on frozen ponds and of course, Christmas. But in January and February the snow became tedious...plowing, shoveling, slush! Being sprayed by cars or trucks kicking up the melted brown, dirty slush and snow...and school was back in session. We always prayed for "snow days" when school was closed for a day or too with a fresh snowfall too dangerous for buses to travel.
Spring always reminds me of Jesus... REBIRTH!!!! Nes flowers springing up; trees budding; birds chirping and baby birds begging for food. Farm animals giving birth; feeding the baby goats and sheep at my grandfather' farm. Fresh, clean, cool weather warming slowly.
Oh how I miss four seasons! Florida does not afford me the same sensations and memories as being a child in Pennsylvania.
I am, and so are you, experiencing a metamorphosis every day as we age, go gray, spread out in the middle and rear sections. Marrying, having children and then grandchildren is a thrill for many of you. I could never have a child, so I did not have that gift.... I got the spreading out and gray, but while teaching I had many children. AND I WAS BLESSED!
My mother passed away 20 yrs ago. She was very ill with breast cancer and during her last 6 wks, I had the privilege of caring for her. I was her taught (after all the work, meds, and meals were complete) but during the day I was her "hospice nurse". I was an LPN, licensed in Indiana so when Hospice was called in to help, they allowed me to give the meds. I kept a journal of how mom was each day, which meds I gave and when and what she ate and drank. I watched and chronicled her metamorphosis into Heaven. It was very sad to lose mom but she was so ill, I wanted her to be out of the pain and misery of drowning she was experiencing, so her journey to Heaven was a blessing.
I am now caring for my father (and have been since mom died). I have cooked, bought groceries and had him to dinner every Sunday. Sometimes I grumbled and griped because there were somethings I might have wanted to do on a Sunday, but I enjoyed seeing him, talking to him, and knowing I was doing what I promised my mom.
During the fall of 2014, Dad seemed to be slowing down. He moved more cautiously; dozed more often; and had more and more dr. appts. He was diagnosed with acute renal failure as well as congestive heart failure. The dr juggled meds to rid him of fluids but then his kidney function would flucuate. Mid-December I was waiting for him at the dr's office for him to have blood work. He did not come in the transport bus and his appt time came and he was not there. I called him and asked if he missed the bus...he said, I am laying here on the floor and I've been here most of the night! I was appalled that he did not call me. His neighbor who generally watched out for dad, had just moved away at the beginning of November. There was no one checking him in the place where he lives. My roommate and I tried to convince him to move in with us, but he had excuses. He had to get rid of things in his mobile home; he would move after Christmas; then it was I will move after January...always an excuse not to move.
After his first fall, he tipped his scooter and clunked his head and tore the skin on his arm about 8 inches. He also had another fall. A friend came by to help get him upright. When I found him the first time, I called the paramedics but he refused transport to the hospital. Even though I have General Power of Attorney, he was of sound mind and flat out said NO! I am not hurt. After the other incidents, my brother and nephew transported him to the hospital for evaluation.
His metamorphosis in the past 20 yrs had been gradual, but all of a sudden it escalated. Dad had one sided weakness; his balance was off; he slurred his words; and he was extremely dehydrated, thus, he slept a lot and got very confused. I was unaware of most of what went on from mid-December until just a few wks ago because I had gotten bronchitis, pharyngitis, laryngitis and thrush, which snowballed into pneumonia. I was down and out.
(ASIDE: My brother, sister in law and nephew jumped right in to help dad; get him into the hospital, a rehab cernter after his 8 day stay in the hospital; tried explaining to dad what was going on and after discharge, have continued caring for him; taking him to the dr and getting his OT and PT ordered and begun. I am so greatful to them).
Last Sunday, after I found out I could be around humans again (though my roommate split herself between taking care of me; visiting dad; and reffing volleyball did so much), dad came to dinner. To me he looked very tired; he dozed often in "his" recliner; He walked slowly, almost unsure of himself. Barbara, my roommate and my sister in law had told me how good he had looked during the week, but at his mobile, HE cleaned and packed. People offered to help but he refused saying HE needed to do it so he knew where his things were.
At our home, a room was readied for him. And this coming Sunday, he is moving in. The dr. told him he is NOT to live alone ever again. He cannot be trusted to prepare or even dump out his own meds because if he thinks he is "short" of meds in one section, he goes into the next days' meds and takes what he thinks he should take. That is bad business. When he moves in, I will hand him his meds and show him the bottles of meds so he can see (well he is blind and very deaf...so I will do my best).
Dad's metamorphosis has sped up drastically. I truly hope it slows up. He goes to the dr on Monday for a re-check from last weeks post- hospital check. He has Physical Therapy as well as Occupational Therapy to help him with his balance and every day activities as needed. We are putting up rails for him to grab in the shower and he is using his walker (grudgingly but using it) The dr told him the next time he falls and paramedics are called, he will be living in a nursing home....and dad does not want that. Rehab was much too close to being in a "home".
Dad's memory long term is excellent. He can tell you every teacher he ever had and every truck he ever drove, but if you ask him questions, he does not give accurate answers. For instance, the dr asked him when the last time was he was in the hospital and he told him about 8 months ago to have his defibrillator replaced. He still does not realize he was in the hospital. His roommate in rehab did not eat one night (until later) because he was having tests. Dad ate and my roommate said he ate well and named the food. But the next day, the "not being fed" seed had been planted and dad told everyone he had not been fed dinner. Some times he is very argumentative now. My sweet, quiet, "go along with it" father now argues and cusses and me, my brother and sister in law. Dad never REALLY cussed...if his trucks broke down or he hammered his thumb he might say a word or two but not ever a tirade of words.
Metamorphosis.... watching dad reminds me of my own....I dont want to metamorph just yet. I have things to do, places to go; people to see.... but dad....misses my mom (cried one night on the phone on the anniversary of her death) and he is looking to the time when he goes to Heaven to be with Jesus and mom. I personally, am not. Death seems to bring out our own mortality.
So.... as we head into spring, though we have no snow here in sunny S. Florida, rebirth should occur and we will have cooler temperatures until about March or April when it will become unbearbly hot. I guess the thing about metamorphosis is that we know it is happening; We know all things die, animal, plants, insects, and us.....The truth is, we need to live our lives knowing the reality of life but with as much joy, happiness, and love as possible and not sitting around waiting for the inevitable final stage. Dad is in his (he said he doesn't want to live to be 100) and I am in the fall of my life....but I plan to make my life count for something. Even in his "final stage" dad has not stopped living...it is revised but he is living and I pray I can give him, along with my family as much joy, happiness, and love as we can.